I Am Afraid

I eat too much comfort food

It is true.  I am afraid of summer.  There, I said it.  I AM AFRAID OF SUMMER!  Summer means no schedule, no plans, no rules, no grades, no discipline.  Sadly, I feel like I lose control in the summer.  I gain weight.  I sleep late.  I stay up too late.  I say things like, "Why not, it's summer!"  I watch myself, from outside myself, slowly starting to slip in to this lazy and carefree life.  Sort of like watching a movie of myself slowly slipping in to freedom.

Freedom scares the heck out of me.  I know I live in the "land of the free," but I never quite like to embrace true freedom.  You see, I could be an excellent drug addict, alcoholic, food addict, or any other type of addict and truly live a free life.  Instead I stand guard at my life.  You see, addiction is not free.  My entire life I have had to stand watch, sometimes watching the movie of myself enjoying too much food, Facebook, or even sleep.  I think I've told you my little life secret about how I ask Chloe to tell me to describe me in one sentence.  She lays out the good, bad and ugly.  Sometimes I have to get really honest with myself and say, "Yo!  No more Facebook or texting!"  I've had to set up rules and boundaries.

Brett's raceway

This summer I need to try and make some rules.  It will be better for all of us if we can have three meals with snacks in between and a regular wake up and sleep schedule.  The activities can be carefree and unplanned, but the basic life schedule needs order.  You might be different.  You might easily fall in to the lazy summer days and you feel happy to have no rules or schedules.  San Antonio and the surrounding areas have so much to offer in the way of arts, activities and entertainment or I can just stay home and experiment in the kitchen with the kids.

Today, Brett watched a Gulf Fritillary Butterfly lay eggs on the passion vine.  He carefully ripped the section of the plant containing the eggs and moved them in to a habitat.  He jumped on the internet to identify the butterfly and find out the appropriate egg and caterpillar stages.  He has located several scorpions outside, killing them and removing their stingers.  He keeps the stingers in a small Ziploc bag.  He grabbed a stack of white printer paper and started taping sheets together creating a raceway for his cars.  Chloe is doing lots of sleeping and resting, but I think she will be baking and creating all sorts of business models to some day rule the world, when her fever final goes away.  I could probably never leave the house and still not run out of things to do here.  I just ordered a cheese-making kit with all sorts of cheese varieties.  I think my husband is really sad he gave me his amazon account password.  ooops.

Brett, the male model being a mannequin

Tomorrow I return to cleaning and scrubbing the floors with a toothbrush.  I am halfway through my bedroom and bathroom.  The silver lining remains that I have a house to clean while thousands of families are without homes due to flood, fire, tornado or hurricane.  I think I'll clean will a broader smile on my face tomorrow.  Ahhhh perspective.

I am thankful for the roof over my head(Day 152).  Goodnight Friends and do not be afraid of summer.  It will all be just fine.  I promise, but if life starts to freak you out come on by and milk a goat; it makes everything better.