Sympathy Pass? Doubtful.

This is what I imagine for a  Sympathy Pass!!

This week has been full of fun and adventures, but also second guesses.  Sometimes I'm not sure I'm in the right place.  I wonder why God invested so much time and energy in my arts education and the hours of performing, every kind of performing.  The joy and exhilaration I feel when I'm on stage is hard to experience anywhere else.

This week I've felt exceptionally under qualified.  I've cried.  I've asked God, "Why do you have me here?"  I love my job and everything about it yet I'm struggling with inadequacy.  Lying in bed last night, crying, I told my husband, "I just don't understand why God thinks I can do something that no one else thinks I can do."  In his calm voice he replies, "God doesn't make mistakes.  You are exactly where you are supposed to be.  Until God makes a change, trust Him."  "Can't you just find a job in, say, another country??  Or at the very least in another state?" I say, frustrated.  He just laughs and denies me the pleasure of an answer.

Driving to Chloe's volleyball game I'm listening to a religious station.  This station has mostly talk radio and I prefer music, but my other station was losing signal.  I clicked to the station in time to hear the tail end of an interview where a former NFL player was talking about his life.  He said that he felt inadequate and sometimes he felt like God wasn't listening.  I felt tears fill my eyes.  Those were my exact words!!  He said something else that pierced my heart, "Never give up and get in the Word."  At this point the tears began to roll down my cheeks.   He continued by encouraging the listeners to trust God and to have faith.  I've done that so many times before so why can't God give me a sympathy pass this time?  Why does it always have to be a test?  Well, see the scripture below about faith...

Hebrews 11:6

King James Version (KJV)

⁶ But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

I knew God tuned my station and He wanted me to know I am exactly where He wants me in exactly the right season.  It will take reminding and it might also take some more tears, but I thank God for the wonderful job and workplace I attend daily.  I pray He will make every moment I teach manifest in the lives of the students in a grand way.  If you are feeling like you are in a holding pattern or maybe you feel inadequate, let me encourage you to lay it at the alter.  God NEVER makes mistakes.  His timing is perfect and He loves us more than we will ever comprehend.  As I finish writing this blog I can hardly see the computer screen and my lap is wet with falling tears.  There is a song by Steven Curtis Chapman called His Strength is Perfect and in case you've never heard it, click here.  In case you don't have time to hear the song, I'm including the lyrics below from sing365.com.  Be encouraged.

I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength,
But sometimes I wonder what He can do through me;
No great success to show, No glory on my own,
Yet in my weakness He is there to let me know . . .

CHORUS
His strength is perfect when our strength is gone;
He’ll carry us when we can’t carry on.
Raised in His power, the weak become strong;
His strength is perfect, His strength is perfect.

We can only know
The power that He holds
When we truly see how deep our weakness goes;
His strength in us begins
Where ours comes to an end.
He hears our humble cry and proves again . . .

(chorus)