Heart Broken

Today I read a devotion sent and written by a friend and thought it would be a great reminder of how God doesn't always work the way we think he should.  Sometimes I really think God has lost my file, luckily he never does.  We can become so distracted by our circumstance we often forget to keep our eyes on the prize.  I hope you enjoy this story and lesson as much as I did.

A Broken Heart

“...we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;  persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.” 

2 Corinthians 4: 7,8

Two young Christian believers crazy in love, married in the church, promising to love each other “til death do them part”. One year later things weren’t so lovely anymore.

The husband came home one day at lunch and announced “I don’t love you anymore, in fact, I’m not sure I ever did.” She crumpled to the floor crying and was barely able to breathe. In a calm, cold voice, he simply said , “Well, if you’re going to act like that, I’m leaving.” And he walked out the door.  

That young wife was me. It happened to me..... I had my heart broken.  It was the worst time in my life that resulted in the best rest of my life.  My first marriage and my heart completely fell apart.  The wild thing is I received such an incredible gift from such pain. I would not wish it on anyone, and yet I give that broken heart the credit for my stronger new one. That crash of belief was responsible for forging my heart solidly to God’s...and God’s alone. A heart break is the crack in the belief that a person can love you perfectly. Only God can. It is the end of believing that a person will never let you down, it is the beginning of understanding that God is the only one who never will.  

In those dark days, I chose to fall at His feet. I would have told you that I loved God with all my heart and that he was “the most important thing” in my life.  What I didn’t realize was that I had built up “love”, romantic love between a man and a woman, to be something very high. That love was my happiness, my joy, my worth. That love was where I got security from. I had put it on a pedestal and had worshipped it in a way. I was bloodied and bruised from that very pedestal falling on top of me. Bit, by bit, God put me back together as I grew to trust Him as my security. Day by day spending time alone with Him, I learned that He was the most important PERSON in my life...loving Him was the most important thing.   He was a Person, who loved me so much and knew me inside and out. He just was waiting for me to get to know Him! His Word was the most beautiful love letter ever. He was worthy of not only the pedestal, but the throne! He was worthy of worship, and He alone. Soon, although very beaten up, I had joy again. My Lord, my God, my Father, my First Love, loved me perfectly as I learned to love Him most.  I put my whole trust in Him and asked Him to lead my love life. He brought me the best man I have ever known. I am still deeply in love with my husband and we are both very aware that God is the priority relationship. When we get that right, life is so very good. 

Is your heart breaking right now? Hope in the fact that when God repairs, he doesn’t just put it back together, He gives you a new stronger one! A dear friend once explained to me that the higher quality pots were made by taking the broken weaker pots and mixing them into new clay and then fired. God is the potter and you are His clay. Allow the Master to use your broken pieces to create a new , stronger heart in you. And yes, your heart may get broken  again, but it hurts less and you heal  faster when He is seated firmly on the throne of your heart and your hope rests in Him.

Prayer from 2 Corinthians 4 :

Lord, because I have given my whole heart to you, I do not lose heart. Instead, daily I  renounce my secret and shameful ways; and I turn to Your word as my guide. Your truth is plain to all who want to see it. The truth is that no person can save or fill us, save the person of Jesus Christ. May Your light shine through any darkness that has overcome my heart. Although You are a priceless treasure and I am un unworthy clay pot, Your all-surpassing power is inside of me! I may get my heart broken by a person, but because of  Your person,  I do not lose heart!  May I always carry around  Your death, Lord Jesus, so that Your life may be revealed in my life. You raised Jesus from being broken and dead, and I have hope You can give new life to the broken parts of my life.  Therefore, I do not lose heart. Though outwardly I am wasting away, yet inwardly You want to  renew me day by day. Help me remember that  and that all my heartaches are momentary troubles achieving for me an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. Lord, help me fix my eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. I love You forever and I know You love me, forever, too. Amen.  

  

I am thankful for a God who stands next to me even when I might think all is lost(Day 80).  Goodnight Friends.

Where are YOU Standing?

I have been kind enough to be included in an organization who speaks in schools around the city about various hot topics.  Today we spoke about Dating Violence.  The students often have excellent insight and have experienced much of what we are describing or know someone who has suffered from this sort of trauma.  Today there was a young man who stood out to me.  He started our conversation by writing his phone number on the survey I gave him.  My eyes quickly told him I did not condone his behavior and he half heartedly scratched it out.  At the end of the talk he apologized for his behavior and talked to me a little about his life.  He comes from a loving Christian home but his family seems to be struggling financially and he is trying to help pick up the slack.  He talked about being a Christian and I asked him, "Are you comfortable riding the fence?  One foot in Christianity and one in the world?"  He gave me lots of excuses.  Truthfully I'm not sure his story is unique.  I am guilty of riding the fence.

I act like a Christian, I check the boxes, I do church on Sunday, I read my Bible, I send my kids to a Christian school, but I'm not sure I'm always on the right side of the fence.  There are lots of unsaved people who have seemingly great lives!!   I imagine the hardest thing I had to hear coming out of the kid's mouth today was not his double life, he said, "I had a friend who died and he didn't know the Lord."  He was blaming himself for not saving the kid's life.  That is a huge cross to carry.  I know I need to line up my priorities and stay the course.  Speaking to that young man reminded me how important it is to be a light and a beacon that is strong even in the densest fog.  The fog is when the ships need you the most.  When it gets really tough your faith and focus on the Lord is an example to the "ships" around you seeking direction.

Today during my presentation I received a text from a friend.  She needs a miracle like the one I witnessed yesterday.  A tragic accident involving her aunt  who is now fighting for her life with severe damage to her head and skull.  I know miracles happen.  Take a moment and pray for my friend's aunt or for someone you know who is going through stuff.  Physical, mental, emotional stuff can be that dense fog.  Stay focused on your Heavenly Father.  You Will Get Through This!

I thought this blog would be a light and fluffy post, but tonight it wrote itself.  I am thankful for the small reminders of the big things that make our lives different(Day 79).  The reminders of hope and a future in Christ.

Jeremiah 29:10-19

¹⁰ This is what the Lord says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place. ¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. ¹⁴ I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.^[b] I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

¹⁵ You may say, “The Lord has raised up prophets for us in Babylon,” ¹⁶ but this is what the Lord says about the king who sits on David’s throne and all the people who remain in this city, your fellow citizens who did not go with you into exile— ¹⁷ yes, this is what the Lord Almighty says: “I will send the sword, famine and plague against them and I will make them like figs that are so bad they cannot be eaten. ¹⁸ I will pursue them with the sword, famine and plague and will make them abhorrent to all the kingdoms of the earth, a curse^[c] and an object of horror, of scorn and reproach, among all the nations where I drive them. ¹⁹ For they have not listened to my words,” declares the Lord, “words that I sent to them again and again by my servants the prophets. And you exiles have not listened either,” declares the Lord.

The first set of scriptures (10-14) talks about what he will do for his people and the second set(15-19) talks about what he will do to the people who enslaved his people.  Look at verse 11 where you talks about, "a hope and a future."  This is not unique to this scripture.  He wants this for each of us.  Stay the course.  Tonight I will be praying for Aunt Bonnie and restoration and super natural healing.  Goodnight Friends.

Seeing God in Action

On our way to school this morning we drove our same route that we drive everyday to school.  The same turns.  The same stops.  The same lulls in traffic.  As we approached a house we pass everyday, Brett notices the roof crumpled and rolled from one side all the way to the center like a sardine can.  He said, "MOM!!!  DID YOU SEE THAT HOUSE?"  I said, "Brett, I see that house everyday.  Is this the first time you've ever noticed it is a log cabin house?"  Confused he replies, "Mom, the roof way blown almost all the way off!  We need to pray for them."  We prayed for the family and returned to our normal business.  I drove by on my way to pay my ticket for the expired registration on my friend's trailer from when I took Charles to the vet.  On my way back to school I decided to take a photo of the roof damage to post on my blog as evidence of the forceful winds we sustained in the Hill Country.  As I readied my camera and approached the house I noticed the roof was rolled down and there were tools sitting on the roof.  I couldn't imagine any claim to be resolved that quickly but was thankful their roof was being repaired so quickly.

Lunchtime arrives and I forgot to pack my lunch.  I leave campus and grab food and on my way back to school I see the elderly couple who own the home out in the yard.  They are picking up sticks and he is heading over to the ladder  to the roof.  I pull in to their driveway and tell them they were the source of our prayers this morning and commented on how quickly it was being repaired.  The woman looked at me and said, "God answered your prayer.  Earlier this morning with all the wind gone, a very strong gust of wind swept the roof back down and then the wind stopped."  I looked at her in complete shock as tears rolled down my face.  I serve an AMAZING God.   Unfortunately I was unable to capture the damage in photographs, but the restoration that took place on their roof this morning will forever be entrenched in my understanding of a God who answers prayers, is real, and continues to perform miracles right in front of our eyes.  When I picked Brett up from school I told him the story since he was able to see the destruction and the restoration with his own eyes and asked him, "What do you think?"  He looked at me and said, "I think God can do that."

I am thankful that my God is the God of restoration.  He answers even the prayers of little children so they might know his majesty and might(Day 79).  I wish I had taken a photograph when I first saw the damage because the miracle is so much greater when you were able to witness it with your own eyes.  I am thankful my children were able to lay claim to seeing God in action in a tangible way.  I want to leave you with scripture.  Goodnight Friends.  On a side note, all of God's power and might overshadowed the death of one of my chickens.  More tomorrow.

Psalm 107

New International Version (NIV)

BOOK V

Psalms 107–150

Psalm 107

¹ Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
    his love endures forever.

² Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story—
    those he redeemed from the hand of the foe,
³ those he gathered from the lands,
    from east and west, from north and south.^[a]

⁴ Some wandered in desert wastelands,
    finding no way to a city where they could settle.
⁵ They were hungry and thirsty,
    and their lives ebbed away.
⁶ Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble,
    and he delivered them from their distress.
⁷ He led them by a straight way
    to a city where they could settle.
⁸ Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love
    and his wonderful deeds for mankind,
⁹ for he satisfies the thirsty
    and fills the hungry with good things.

¹⁰ Some sat in darkness, in utter darkness,
    prisoners suffering in iron chains,
¹¹ because they rebelled against God’s commands
    and despised the plans of the Most High.
¹² So he subjected them to bitter labor;
    they stumbled, and there was no one to help.
¹³ Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,
    and he saved them from their distress.
¹⁴ He brought them out of darkness, the utter darkness,
    and broke away their chains.
¹⁵ Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love
    and his wonderful deeds for mankind,
¹⁶ for he breaks down gates of bronze
    and cuts through bars of iron.

¹⁷ Some became fools through their rebellious ways
    and suffered affliction because of their iniquities.
¹⁸ They loathed all food
    and drew near the gates of death.
¹⁹ Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,
    and he saved them from their distress.
²⁰ He sent out his word and healed them;
    he rescued them from the grave.
²¹ Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love
    and his wonderful deeds for mankind.
²² Let them sacrifice thank offerings
    and tell of his works with songs of joy.

²³ Some went out on the sea in ships;
    they were merchants on the mighty waters.
²⁴ They saw the works of the Lord,
    his wonderful deeds in the deep.
²⁵ For he spoke and stirred up a tempest
    that lifted high the waves.
²⁶ They mounted up to the heavens and went down to the depths;
    in their peril their courage melted away.
²⁷ They reeled and staggered like drunkards;
    they were at their wits’ end.
²⁸ Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble,
    and he brought them out of their distress.
²⁹ He stilled the storm to a whisper;
    the waves of the sea^[b] were hushed.
³⁰ They were glad when it grew calm,
    and he guided them to their desired haven.
³¹ Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love
    and his wonderful deeds for mankind.
³² Let them exalt him in the assembly of the people
    and praise him in the council of the elders.

³³ He turned rivers into a desert,
    flowing springs into thirsty ground,
³⁴ and fruitful land into a salt waste,
    because of the wickedness of those who lived there.
³⁵ He turned the desert into pools of water
    and the parched ground into flowing springs;
³⁶ there he brought the hungry to live,
    and they founded a city where they could settle.
³⁷ They sowed fields and planted vineyards
    that yielded a fruitful harvest;
³⁸ he blessed them, and their numbers greatly increased,
    and he did not let their herds diminish.

³⁹ Then their numbers decreased, and they were humbled
    by oppression, calamity and sorrow;
⁴⁰ he who pours contempt on nobles
    made them wander in a trackless waste.
⁴¹ But he lifted the needy out of their affliction
    and increased their families like flocks.
⁴² The upright see and rejoice,
    but all the wicked shut their mouths.

⁴³ Let the one who is wise heed these things
    and ponder the loving deeds of the Lord.

Blown Away

 The pictures show what I found when I arrived home.  Thankfully we were not home or one or both of our cars would've been totaled by the uprooted tree.  This isn't a great photo, but tomorrow in the daylight I will take a better photo and re-post.  I also saw a carport down the road in a neighbor's yard.  Thankfully no one was hurt by the flying metal carport.

The wind ransacked the Hill Country and most of South Texas today, but I think we had it easy compared to the deluge that hit Louisiana.  As I worked I imagined my chickens being carried off to Kansas hoping they remembered to wear their ruby slippers.  Besides the occasional uprooted tree, all the farm animals were safe and sound.  I moved our cars from around the house where we usually park since one of the uprooted trees happened to be about 20+ feet tall and landed across our driveway.  I didn't want to have to total a car due to a tree incident.

The chicken coop was rattling with the roof flapping producing only three eggs from a mildly unhappy bunch.  The do not like loud noises much like my children.  My children often cover their ears at the sound of any loud noise and while at a basketball the other day, I realized I do the same thing.  At last count, all chickens were accounted for, I think.  All 32, or is it 34?  Hmm.  Remind me to think that one through a bit.

Today was the very exciting academic and art competition at my school.  We placed 1st in our district and advance to state in almost all of the categories!  I was BLOWN AWAY and very proud of all of our students.  By blown away I mean both excited and literally blown away.  Our campus is situated on some sort of spot that creates the perfect wind tunnel.  Anyone weighing less than 100 lbs was blown around like a leaf.  I did watch the 1st graders walking down the sidewalk today waiting for one of them to take flight.  Fortunately none of them got completely airborne, but a few were nearly blown off the sidewalk.  We have been blessed with a winning streak.  Our girls and boys basketball teams are also in playoffs and will play tomorrow to find out if they advance to the state finals on Saturday!  We have so very much to be thankful for I'm not quite sure where to begin.  So I will end with this, I am thankful to all of the parents, teachers, and students who made our event possible today.(Day 79)  Goodnight Friends.  I am going straight to sleep!

updated photo of daytime destruction

updated photo of daytime destruction

Stupid Chicken Tricks

Sundays aren't usually as busy as today.  I actually had to turn down fun events just to have a manageable day.  Church, birthday party, team party, bedtime.  As usual I had a few moments to kill on the farm where my chickens offered a wealth of entertainment.  Play the video below to watch my chickens jumping for raisins.

Sadly, I missed the Colonial Ball in Laredo this weekend.  My cousin (2nd cousin once removed) was presented.  She currently lives and works in New York and will be heading to Asia and Australia for work as a model.  She has a heart of gold, is a kind young lady with dreams of someday becoming a supermodel and spends time spreading awareness about the negative effects of bullying.   You can already see her photo in several magazines and she was also selected to represent the entire group of contestants competing for The Miss Teen USA Pageant (where she represented the great state of Texas as Miss Teen Texas USA 2010)at the People's Choice Awards almost two years ago.  Luckily she is not just another pretty face, she is a great role model for any young lady.

This afternoon when I collected the eggs from the chicken coop, I found a new egg.  The green egg is from Baby Chick!!  Her first egg!!!!!  Soon it will grow to the size of the brown egg and I am a huge fan of the beautiful green color of the egg.  The other day someone set a carton of eggs in front of me and said they were from my chickens.  I told them I didn't bring any eggs so I wasn't sure where they were coming from.  I opened the carton and instantly knew they were not my eggs.  The brown and green eggs were not the same hue of the ones my chickens lay.  It's funny how unique the egg's colors are to a group of chickens.  I don't think I was aware of the difference until the very moment when I opened the carton and easily identified them as "from another flock."

Stay tuned to the most up to date photos of Pip and Augusta Belle as we compare them to their pre-pregnancy photos.  Also, does anyone want a kitten?  I was intent on taking my cat to be spayed and instead realized she is pregnant.  I am not the person who can take a pregnant cat to be fixed and simply look the other way.  So, you are obligated to at least consider being a parent to a new kitten.  It is looming and I suspect we are looking at the second or third week of April.  Sounds like it will be happening shortly after the birth of the goats.  Should I film it all and charge admission to the Stricker Baby Farm??  Admission will be requiring the visitors to take home a kitten!!

Tomorrow is our big academic competition at school and I am excited about having the day behind me.  It is an entire year of preparation for one day of fun.  Let us hope I remember to write a blog tomorrow night instead of being completely brain dead!!  I am thankful for the ability to have a busy day and to be healthy enough to attend the activities with my family.  Many people are ill with the flu during this time of the year and I am blessed to only have mild allergies.(Day 78)  Goodnight Friends and I hope you enjoy the chicken video!!

Can You Identify This Creature??

Thadd spent some time working outside today.  While at the pond he discovered this odd creature who when removed from the water, dies.  I'm almost certain it is some stage of an insect's growth, but I'm not quite sure what insect.  It looks like something out of an 80's sic-fi thriller.   Thadd, being the resourceful guy that he is, took a photo of this odd creature and asked me to post it on my blog for help in the identification process.  Thus, I am hoping one of you is an entomologist or at least a bug enthusiast so you can assist!  Since Thadd was at the pond you can imagine what the kids wanted to do...
what do most people do on a normal Saturday in the month of February?  They go swimming of course!!

 The kids jumped in the pond deciding rather quickly it was far too cold to truly enjoy.  They disappeared to the house where they found a nice warm shower and clothing.  Brett opted against clothing and wandered the house and yard NAKED for a while before resigning to dress like everyone else.  I think the chill in the air started to pick up and his extremities were feeling the effects.  I, on the other hand, was very involved in the job of feeding animals, cleaning the chicken coop and giving Charles a haircut.

I played with the baby chicks for a bit to procrastinate doing actual work in the coop,  The smell was overwhelmingly strong especially with the plastic still on the chicken wire to prevent too much a chill to sweep through their bedtime quarters.  Unfortunately for the cocktiels and the baby chicks, that means not much interaction with the outdoors.  I pulled back a section of plastic exposing the west side of the coop and a breeze blew through the coop and the chicks frolicked happily.  They kept hopping up to get a better look at the big world out there.  Later I had to re-staple the plastic as the temperature drops to the 30's at night.

While cleaning the coop I discovered the newest member of the egg laying family.  One of the chicks I hatched in October, Snickers, is laying eggs!  Today was her first egg and by the picture you can see they start out rather small.  From left to right they are, Snicker's first egg, a bantam egg, and a regular(green) egg.  I guess you can also say I might be doing a little advertising for HEB...ooops.  I can't believe she is already laying eggs!  It usually takes six months before they begin to lay eggs, but maybe they are so happy here they lay sooner!  Maybe?

Thadd let the pony and goats out to roam the property and they ate all the green grass they could find.  At dinner time they ignored the food I put out for them instead opting for a rest.  All that eating can wear you out!  The girls are looking so incredibly uncomfortable and pregnant and from the bag you can see the milk starting to fill their, uh, milk sacs?  Not sure what to call them.  Nonetheless, I am so excited I can barely stand it! If you sit and watch her stomach you can see baby goat action.  I'm sure she is wondering what the heck is going on!

Charlie's hair from his haircut

Today was mostly good except when my son's team lost their championship basketball game this morning.  I told him second place isn't bad and he replied, "Second place is losing."  True statement.  Maybe next year.  Last year I don't think we even won a game, so to be the second place team is AMAZING!  I am thankful for my family who joined me for dinner this evening as I always enjoy their company. (Day77) Goodnight Friends!

  

A Visit To The Principal's Office

How can you be mad at this face??

At the end of the school day I received a phone call from Brett's teacher.  She reported the activities of the day to include: picking a fight with a girl, calling another girl "fat tinker bell", he fought with another boy and his teacher and was sent to the principal's office.  The conversation with his teacher went on for about thirty minutes.  I'm exhausted by the flurry of bad activity.  I would say Brett is perfect, but he has been compliant and minimally reprimanded as of late.  The last two weeks have proven to be an interesting ride in the wrong direction on the Brett Express.

The thing I'm having trouble with is his ability to be good and his equally talented bad behavior making a comeback.  When I ask him, "Why?"  He has no answer.  I want to understand the reason for the behavior.  If he is having a problem we can work together to solve it.  If he is sad we can talk about how to make him happy.  I can solve a problem, but I can't solve something we can't identify.  So instead I spend my quiet time wondering how to fix Brett.  I've actually considered sending him to my Aunt Deedee as she has raised two successful and sweet children.  She loves children and she loved me as a child.  Very few people could tolerate me as a child and she and my uncle were so attentive and patient.  They even let me sleep over at their house often.  My uncle would sit and let me make a hundred ponytails all over his head.  I would sing and dance in their living room with them as my audience.  I wish I could provide the same sort of support for my son, yet it seems like I spend most of my time upset with him instead of loving on him.  This whole situation makes me so very sad.

You might want to consider hiring Chloe now because when
she makes Forbes magazine she will not have much
availability.

I haven't even seen my animals since 7:30  this morning as Thadd was kind enough to feed them and put them to bed.  I also figured out Fighting Irish, the rooster, isn't really going to recover from whatever it is that had made him ill.  He doesn't crow anymore or even make much sound.  He hangs out at my front door and I feed him food from my refrigerator.  He has trouble eating the chicken feed and so I give him applesauce, yogurt, scrambled egg, mixed vegetables and have recently decided to buy him baby food to supplement for a healthier diet.  I think he struggles to swallow the larger food and knows I will hand feed him if he comes to the door.  I know, I'm crazy.

Fighting Irish

I was hoping to make it to the Washington's Birthday Celebration in Laredo.  Unfortunately, I'm responsible for an academic competition that takes place at our school every year and I arrived home at 9p.m. after preparing and copying and taping and stapling and the list goes on and on.  Monday morning we will be ready for the six other schools to come on to our campus and compete for the title we fight hard to keep.  Tomorrow morning Brett also plays his final game to decide the winner of their division title.  It is sure to be a nail biter since we play the younger team of athletes from the same school.  Chloe's Babysitting and Petsitting business has found its first customer taking care of two dogs in San Antonio this weekend.  Is it bad to wish my ten year old could drive?  Birthday parties and more birthday parties round out the weekend and now I think I should call it a night.



I think it is time for bed.  My mom is visiting which means I need all of my energy!  She is the Energizer Bunny!!!  I am thankful for children who provide adventures and a mom who keeps me on my toes!(Day 77).  Goodnight Friends.