What They Don't Tell You

My husband and children are watching Brave and it makes me think about a few things.  Recently, Chloe asked me to sign her up for dance classes.  If you know anything about my past, you know I've danced for almost thirty years.  When she was tiny she took classes and did not care for it much, so I took her out.  Now when she asks me to sign her up for classes, I cringe.  Why?  Well, it is complicated.

She has so much catching up to do with all of the kids who started taking classes when they were five and what if she isn't good at it?  Will I watch her in class hoping she doesn't want to continue because she doesn't have good turnout or extension or can't turn worth a flip.  I think I was happier when she didn't like dance and didn't want to take dance classes.  Now that she WANTS to take classes I am thinking of all the reasons why she can't take dance.

When she was born I imagined she would be a beautiful dancer, cheerleader, and everyone's friend.  Well, she is beautiful and she is everyone's friend.  I'm not sure what kind of dancer she will be and she says she NEVER wants to be a cheerleader.  As a parent we have so many things to learn and do.  We have to be supportive but not pushy.  Encouraging but not jaded.  Kind but not their friend.  Parenting is a balancing act for certain.

I don't want to be a stage mom or "tiger mom" who puts my kid in the stuff that I want her to do and furiously pursue it.  Supportive, not pushy.  How many of you have seen those audition videos for American Idol or other such show where the parent is featured raving about their child and then you see their child's audition and they are TERRIBLE!!  Encouraging, not jaded.  You must be honest and build a relationship with your child, but not a friendship.  This parenting thing is TOUGH.

Recently I signed up late for sports and my son was placed on a team with older kids.  He is working hard and actually messes around less, but he is not as advanced as the other kids.  When I watch him I think of all the things he needs to do to get better.  Sometimes I wonder why I put him in sports.  Then I have to remember the most important thing about sports is the experience.  Brett may not be the most amazing athlete, but the skills he gains from being involved in sports are more important.  The team effort, good sportsmanship, rules of the game, exercise, and friendships are just a few of the things he learns from sports.  As a mom sitting on the bleachers I'm learning a bigger lesson.  My child is possibly not the best athlete on the field.

When our children come out and we count to make sure they have ten fingers and toes and that they are breathing, we reached the first hurdle.  At that moment we believe our child is the most perfect child in the whole world.  It isn't until we see them with everyone else that we realize they might not be the amazing child we once thought.  There are other children out there who throw better, run faster, have better extension, or sing like an angel.  My children may never be famous or infamous, but can't they be the BEST at something????

Ok, reality check!  I need to get over wanting Chloe to be the best dancer in her class or to want Brett to be the fastest runner.  My kids will grow up to be the very best Chloe and Brett Stricker and that is the very best solution.  My only hope should be for them to grow up to be followers of Christ, enthusiastically pursuing a relationship with our Heavenly Father and trusting God will guide me to be the parent he created me to be.  The good news:  I know what I need to do.  The bad news: I don't always let go and let God.  I think I might even sign Chloe up for dance class, maybe.