Guilty Words

I am feeling so guilty.  How many of you recall the blog I wrote about eating things that taste good, but don't make you feel good?  Ok, so pizza, pan dulce(sweet bread), and candy all fall in to that category.  I also managed to eat copious amounts of previously mentioned items.  Each time I opened my mouth and inserted any of the evil treats I told myself I was choosing badness over goodness.  Don't confuse what I'm saying by thinking I have guilt over eating the items just because I work out every day and try to eat healthily.  I have extreme guilt because upon the touch of the terrible treats to my tongue I understand the impact it will have on my body.  The pizza and pan dulce will make my arms go numb for most of the night and the candy will make my stomach ache.  I can get on the treadmill and get those calories off as quickly(not so quickly)as I put them on, but I can't make feeling return to my arms or the stomach ache go away.  All of the symptoms require time to remove from my system by a slow process of digestion and distribution.

I am also so guilty of doing this same thing with words or actions.  There are some people placed on this earth to teach me patience and long suffering.  Two of which are likely my children and the others are scattered throughout my life.  I know I was placed on this earth to teach many people patience and long suffering.  I know I was placed on this earth to teach my parents something and my poor, poor husband.  As a child I was the least favorite child in most people's world.  I was wild.  I was crazy.  I had super creative ideas that both made a mess and caused trouble.  I was the ideal candidate for a disastrous sleepover.  Do not confuse my adventuresome personality with someone who lacked being disciplined.  My parents did not spare the rod, the staff, the belt, or the wooden spoon.  I was often spanked multiple times a day.  So, I understand that people are placed on this earth for a purpose.

It is so self centered for me to think that these people where ACTUALLY placed on the earth to torture me, but they torture me nonetheless.  I believe we all serve a purpose in some way or another to teach, to learn, to find, to hide, to chase, to lead, to something.  Often times the very things that send me in to oblivion in regard to other people are things that require the most work in my own life.   I have one friend who never filters anything that comes out of her mouth.  She does not use foul language, but she says things like, "The diet doesn't seem to be working so well, huh?"  or "I have a great book to help you discipline your children better."  Uhhhh.  Ok.  The thing is, I can sometimes say things without my filter on and I don't think about the implications my words have on someone else until it is too late, way too late.

Matthew 15:18-20

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁸ But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. ¹⁹ For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.²⁰ These are what defile a person; but eating with unwashed hands does not defile them.”

Ephesians 4:29

New International Version (NIV)

²⁹ Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others upaccording to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Proverbs 13:3

New International Version (NIV)

³ Those who guard their lips preserve their lives,
    but those who speak rashly will come to ruin.(biblegateway.com) 

These scriptures are just a sample of the power our words hold over others, but more harshly, over ourselves.   I have always been a very verbose woman and yet in all the talking, talking, talking I don't often take the time to temper my words.  They spill out of my mouth like a fire hydrant left to drain on the street.  Words, thoughts, feelings all jumbled together and sometimes even without organization. I just like to talk.  I still like to talk, but I am more careful about the words I choose to say or not to say. I have not learned these things because someone calls me out on being unfiltered or tactless, but because I've watched other people do what I do and decided to change.  Rest assured I HAVE been called out for being unfiltered and usually I deny doing so.  Of course.

Next time you want to turn to your friend and say, "Isn't that lady so annoying the way she does this, that and the other...." turn to yourself instead and say, "Lord, search my heart.  Help me to see this and how it applies to my life.  I want to be a fountain of your love and not an emptying fire hydrant with no purpose other than to release water.  Give me a purpose and allow my words to build other people up and to be filled with grace.  If I am anything like this person, change me.  Also, help me to love this person more.  To avoid judging her or trying to solve her problems.  Help me to remember her in prayer and to also remember to pray for her family.  (ha ha, not because they have to tolerate her...)  Thank you Lord for helping me to see these things in my life so that I might use my words wisely and with honor."  I expect all of you to memorize the above prayer and say it every time someone annoys you!!

Look, none of us is perfect and we say things that aren't perfect.  Forgive yourself, God does.  Learn something from it, change.  Oh, and don't eat food that makes you feel awful.  UGH, I have such a belly ache!!!

Sorry about the last part seeming to all be a quote.  I can't get it to fix!!!