That Side of Thirty

I was a senior in high school when this photograph was taken.  Actually, it was taken the summer before my senior year which means I am sixteen (16) in this photograph.  I used this photo for all sorts of things for the following eight or so years and I looked very much like this photograph.  If you don't wear your reading glasses, I still look exactly like this photograph.

If you look really, really hard what you DON'T see is maturity, wisdom, or experience.  Tomorrow I cross over to being closer to 40 than to 30 and I am certain I've gained a few amazing qualities along the way.  What I am also learning is that many of us gain similar qualities and wisdom as we age.  The old adage, "If I knew then what I know now..." applies beautifully to my life and possibly yours, too.

A friend of mine and I used to joke that as we gained weight we actually were storing wisdom therefore fatter meant wiser. This theory was developed back when I wore a size six and believed myself to be "fat."  Being a dancer did distort my ideals concerning body image, but I didn't have eating disorders other than the serious problem to curb called the linebacker diet.  The linebacker diet refers to the way you eat when you dance for 8-10 hours a day.  The problem I suffered was when I stopped dancing I didn't stop eating.  So if I applied my fatter=wiser theory, I was growing wisdom!

Let's review the first thing I gained as I aged....WEIGHT!!!  Yipeeeeee!  I have learned to change my ideals concerning body image to reflect a more manageable lifestyle, but I had to completely reorganize my eating habits.  I learned not to eat in the evenings or to eat excessively or processed foods or the list goes on.  I learned how to eat for my body.  This feat is huge considering I have always, yes always, been a gluttonous eater. SO, secondly, I have learned to eat for a healthier(notice I didn't say thinner) body.  I'm learning that just because it tastes good doesn't mean it will make you feel good.  Get to know your body and eat well for YOUR body.

Friends are the next thing I've learned.  I am required to show love to everyone, but I am not required to be friends with everyone.  "Friends" is a special slot reserved for people who don't wear me out, tear me down, or beat me up.  Friends are honest, but not hateful.  Recently, my friend Kim wrote an entire Facebook dealing with the requirements of friendship and trust.  I'm quoting her below as someone who understands the wisdom I've gained on this side of 30.

I've been thinking a lot about friendship lately. Ive learned this lately:
It seems like the Lord tends to weed out the friendship garden in my life. And always He reveals His reasons later on, mainly my protection and His edification. Friends are those that are honest but don't call you up all the sudden after months of no communication to slam you for an assumed reason. Friends are those that sense you need a hug. Friends are those you can just call talk about the little things in life and feel loved. Friends are those that have an open unashamed conversation standing in the chip aisle at the store. Friends are those that are there during the struggle and smile at your success. Friends wonder where you are and what you are doing. Friends encourage your quest for glorifying God with your gifts. Friends tell you without damnation when you're wrong and question your motives without threat. Friends are gentle with each other's heart. Friends aren't yes people because you are wealthy. Friends are not intimidated by your lifestyle or jealous of it. All that amounts to is friends love at all times. What do you think? Can you add to this list? Has it challenged you?

The other thing I have been thing about is trust. The people you trust should in my opinion... 
Never kick you in the teeth and say sorry then do it again. Then joke about having to forgive them the 490 times( the actual translation likens to infinite)
Then kick you in the teeth and say sorry but make no effort to reconcile and expect you to trust them again.
Trust should never be assumed.
If you trust someone there are no boundaries on what they can say to you(so if there are boundaries that should be a clue)...

I'm sure we can all add to the list, but most importantly what I want you to know is that friends feel like friends, they don't feel like poison ivy.

The last thing I will include this evening as my wisdom gained on this side of 30 is, God.  I know God has my back because I've nearly been to hell and back and HE has never left my side.  His way is always right even when I think it looks wrong because it is NOT what I planned.  His way is loving and gentle and sometimes disciplinary, but never hateful, hurtful, or unjust.  Revenge is HIS as is the VICTORY!

I will be 36 tomorrow, filled with wisdom(and so much more to learn), good food, good friends, and the love of my Heavenly Father.  I have a blessed family and a wonderful life full of a adventure, opportunity, and excitement.  I am so thankful for my children and husband who make my days more fulfilling!  Be Blessed and Live The Adventure!