Return On Investment (ROI)

Today I was at the grocery store and I happened upon a mother with her two young children.  She looked as if she had just rolled out of bed and the kids still had their jammies on.  I smiled as I caught the eye of her youngest child with a head of unkempt curls.  It was not too long ago that I was that mom; the one who got out of bed and made it to the grocery store for an outing where other adults congregate.  I recently recall seeing a picture on Facebook with a caption attached where a mom is on the phone with children all around her and one in her arms and she is saying something about calling her back in five years.  I can completely relate to that photograph.

When I had my first child and a job I was very together.  My child was always dressed to perfection.  When we left the house she was my BEST accessory.  I worked out everyday because I was a dance teacher.  I went places and did stuff.  I traveled and lived life.  I adopted the Babywise philosophy and had her sleeping through the night at six weeks and I was a pro-mom.  THEN, we had a second child, I quit working and moved out to the country.  I was "living the dream!"

When I transitioned into mom of two in a new career(stay at-home mom) and a new house and city, I changed in to the mom I saw at the grocery store.  It was obvious her purpose was to be a mom, housekeeper,  and chef.  Don't get me wrong, the years I spent working full time as a mom were the HARDEST years of my entire life!!!  I am so happy to be on this side of mommyhood.  The side of mommyhood where your children don't pee, poop, and throw up on you often and without warning.  Even my chickens give me a warning squawk before they poop on me!  I'm not sure when I changed from the workout clothes wearing mom that prayed for adult interaction and clawed the walls waiting for her husband to get home so she could get a BREAK!!  Ok, so I didn't claw the walls all the time, just on rainy days.  Unfortunately for me, there was a sudden rainy season during my early days in Boerne.

I know you often hear that being a parent in a thankless job.  Well, the votes are in and although it is one of the most difficult jobs in the world, it is also the most rewarding job.  I look around me and see successful individuals and know they have smiling parents whose hearts are filled with joy knowing they were able to take part in the raising of that child.  There are also days when I want to ask God if I can come to heaven for a spell to decompress from parenting, mothering, working, just life.  Yesterday my daughter had a volleyball practice and she was exhausted.  I forced her to attend practice and she cried for the entire 1.5 hours.  At one point a few moms turned to me and asked, "Don't you think she's had enough?  I want to cry for her."  I took her home and fed her and she bathed and was asleep by 6:45p.m.  She was BEYOND tired.  It is those days that make being a parent difficult.

I think the other thing that is hard for some parents to grasp, but is a very important thing to remember, is that our children deserve our love and affection just because they are our children.  We are not entitled to some big settlement when they strike it rich in their 20's nor are we able to end their life since we carried them for nine months...although tempting at times.  We are parents and our job is to love, support and provide the best possible life we can while teaching them morals, ethics and the Word of God(these are the rules at my house).  If you recall from an early blog post that we must also teach them skills because just loving them doesn't teach them how to be independent and self sufficient so they can move out and and go to college and get jobs!  BUT be so careful to remember that your investment does not entitle you to reap their reward.  You may pat yourself on the back and say, "Good job raising that kid!"  You raise them, feed them, clothe them, give them an education and pay for their wedding(if they are lucky) and you aren't going to get any of that money back.  If they lose their job or get a divorce it does NOT entitle you to collect and with interest!!!!

We live in America where so many people have an entitlement mentality.  I admit to having it sometimes, too.  We are NOT entitled to anything.  Work hard and do the right thing and you may or may not have a fair shot.  Be honest.  Be kind.  Be hardworking.  Be loving.  Be true.  Be patient.  I mean, take a look at the beginning of this blog post, I seem entitled to a better life as a mom.  Right?  No, absolutely NOT!!  What you need to know is that among the many seasons of parenthood there really isn't a better or worse, but there is a letting go.  We must let out children go and become something.  We must not think that their success is tied to us and that we deserve some sort of monetary compensation for our job as a parent!

I can just imagine the conversation with Brett, "Brett you owe me $24, 962.45 for all the creatures you brought in the house and their containers and food and so forth!"  or "Chloe, you owe me well over $1million for all your girl stuff and books....always books!"  We are parents and we are in it for the long haul.  If you had children to be your financial security in the future you need to get your brain checked.  Enjoy this season of parenthood and remember to squeeze every bit of life out of each season as they pass so quickly.  Some days I wish I was still that mom in workout clothes with two kids fresh out of bed wandering around the grocery store.