What Are Your Priorities?

In all of my "trying to be better" I'm falling short of some of my roles.  I arrived home this afternoon, exhausted, to my husband cleaning the house.  The guilt I feel when I see him cleaning the house is overwhelming.  Maybe you've read the book about love languages, well, Thadd's love language is "Acts Of Service."  Sadly, he was investing his love language to my life instead of me to his life.

I ended up unloading the groceries while he put them away, collecting the eggs, and taking a nap.  I was so incredibly tired I couldn't keep my eyes open.  The kids sat on the bed watching a movie about nature while I slept.  I missed three phone calls and some text messages and I'm certain my husband continued to clean.  Although the nap was refreshing for my tired self, my guilt grew.  Am I alone?

Clearly I'm alone in having a husband who cleans and puts away the groceries, but am I alone in feeling so overwhelmingly exhausted?  I often look around at my friends with three, four, and five children and wonder how they do it?  I can barely get homework done with one, am a mediocre housekeeper, and have to take a nap occasionally to make it through the day!  Maybe the cure is to give myself a break or maybe I need to get more organized.  I get to school and work, get home and cook dinner and do homework and then fall in my bed.  Unfortunately, my husband seems to be the one suffering the most.  He works long hours and comes home to an uninspired dinner and a dirty house.  There is no amount of cute outfits, compliments, or affection that can make up for the acts of service I fail to provide.

The weekends are the only chance I have to sleep in late, but he likes breakfast when he gets up.  Early.  Marriage is hard.  Marriage is hard because it is about self sacrifice.  When he placed the shiny engagement ring on my finger I never imagined it would mean I couldn't sleep in on Saturday, I would have to make my bed everyday, or clean the house every week!!  In some marriages, these are not requirements, but in mine they are the things that make my husband feel loved and appreciated.  I've also come to understand that whether I have one pet or 100 pets, it doesn't make me more willing to want to wake up early to make breakfast or clean the house more often.

I know I sound like I'm whining, but the truth is, I needed to see this on "paper."  Truthfully, I often write a fairytale, but I'm not the princess I often pretend to be.  I'm real.  I'm human.  I clean toilets.   I'm not a person who ever makes New Year's Resolutions, but I likely need to make some sort of resolution to be a better wife.  At our fiftieth wedding anniversary I want him to look at me and say, "Thank you for making me breakfast even when you would've preferred to be asleep."

Please understand that I didn't write this to get sympathy or even empathy, just perspective.  I think I need to re-evaluate my priorities.  Maybe it will all disappear when June arrives when I don't have the stress of, well, everything.  Maybe not.  It WILL change if I choose to be different.  One step at a time. What are your priorities?

I am thankful for a husband who helps me ALL of the time(Day 120).  Goodnight Friends.