God Knows What He Is Doing

Brett is, once again, having trouble at school and last night I was feeling exceptionally sorry for myself. I am trying to find solutions and wanting to understand what goes on in his head and to be fair and firm.  Certain forms of discipline work better than others and yet none really works as a solve all.  I wish there was a perfect formula.  Actually, there does exist a perfect formula, but I usually refer to it last instead of first.

This morning on my drive to school I was praying for my brother, my sister, a school friend, a non school friend, and my son.  Upon arriving at school I went to the art room to work on lion manes for our annual benefit gala.  There was only one other mother, the woman who purchased and organized the effort, working on the project.  I walked in with a Starbucks in hand apologizing for my late arrival.  I had to return home to tend to the baby goats with the cold weather blowing in.  I needed to make their quarters draft free and cozy to avoid losing a baby to illness.  I managed to brush off the excess shavings before I entered the room, but I'm sure I smelled of Earl Gray tea and pine shavings.  She was kind as she looked up and smiled, managing to seem optimistic about being the only mom who showed up for the mane making.  As we began to talk, I realized her smile was more than an attempt at optimism.  She was, in fact, grateful for my help and happy to complete the task alone.  I know God orchestrated our meeting before the beginning of time and allowed me to think my prayer this morning opened the door for this visit.  We sat, talking and working.  Every word she spoke I listened to and digested as if reading the most interesting piece of literature ever written.  Her wisdom was mature and warm, like the afghan knitted by my great-grandmother.  Her words flowed from her lips with purpose and gentleness, never threatening and with a joyful acceptance I longed to adopt.

A mother of four, she has children ranging from high school to first grade.  Four boys and twins at the youngest end, she proudly spoke of their accomplishments.  She praised their mentors and their activities for giving them purpose.  It all sounded very normal and almost, too easy.  I began to think I wanted to know these things about my children and to speak purposefully about their interests and successes.  We continued to talk and one by one she unveiled the truly amazing aspects of her children's personalities.  A child with each of the following:  Asberger's Syndrome, ADHD, and Down Syndrome.  Here I was, wondering how I was going to cope with Brett's obstacles and this woman is a mother to four boys, which in and of itself is a FEAT!  Additionally, she has survived both diagnosis and life coping with obstacles in which most families experience singly.

She was optimistic, gracious, and truly content with her life.  She was thankful for her many blessings and for her four boys.  My prayers were answered today.  Her life is no better or worse, it is only that her life is lived in gratefulness for its existence.  The smile she shared as I walked in the door, the one that seemed so grateful for my arrival, is the same smile she gives God for his overwhelming blessings in her life.  Lord, my prayer is to make me more like her.  Thank you for reminding me of your grace, mercy and blessings today.

Today I am thankful for the chance to see life through her glasses.  Her glasses were clearly blessed with your overwhelming love and mercy.  she is defined, not be her adversity, but by her joy. Thank you for bringing her in to
my life today and for allowing her to share her life experience and her wisdom.  I am hopeful that my son will be the person he is meant to be, DESPITE me!  Goodnight Friends.