That Was Good, BUT

Today as I stayed in my jammies and did minimal anything around the house I began to think about how my different friends are so, well, different.  I believe each of us has a special talent and as I often remind my children their special talents range from making messes to hiding homework.  Unfortunately,  I often focus on their flaws and weaknesses to label as special talents instead of their equally compelling good qualities.  I believe there is a lesson in thinking this through for myself.  

This evening I was looking through a magazine with my mother and commenting on the various things I saw wrong with the outfits and rarely a nice comment.  Without lifting her gaze she said, "You need to find the positives."  I immediately got defensive and told her I learned the constant criticism from her.  She replied, "I know and I have had to work hard to change."  She is right.  Growing up I heard mostly constructive criticism and rarely a compliment NOT followed by "BUT."  I admit I have carried that in to my own life.  I think I am not nearly as hard on my students, but my own children often get the very worst of my criticism.  I have high expectations for them and expect them to attain them.  Having Brett as a son makes some of those expectations seem light years away.  Simple things like eating with the proper utensils are an epic fail, but he can wield an ax with the lumberjacks.  I guess maybe I need to focus more on his strengths.  Hmmmm, maybe I could let him eat with an ax; sounds like compromise.

Tonight as I sleep and hopefully dream, I want to begin to see more of the light and less of the dark.  Correction, discipline, and expectations are important as long as they do not remain rigid and unforgiving.  I'm afraid maybe mine have been a bit unforgiving and rigid.  I promise to think about how I will change and to implement change.  It likely won't happen overnight.  I do hope it changes as I would not like my children growing up thinking they are worthless, inadequate, or helplessly flawed.  Humility and confidence both need to have a place and not one more than the other.  Maybe Spring Break will be busy after all.  It will be loaded with time for me to practice my new approach to my children.  I'll keep you abreast of the situation.

Tonight I am thankful for a relaxing day spent at home (Day 85).  Goodnight Friends.