Kids: Accessory or Baggage

This afternoon as I was rocked on the porch by my son Brett, I spoke to a close friend.  I did some talking, some listening and some reprimanding of the rocking.   My friend talked about the process of conception and stress and difficulty of conception.  All of us have had our journey to conception.  Some of my friends conceived way earlier than their maturity and gave the child up for adoption.  Some of my friends believed they had no way out and turned to abortion.  Other people got pregnant the first time or never.  Each of us has a unique story every time.  Her journey is no different.

As I listened she said a few things that I'm so glad I wasn't so busy hearing myself talk that I missed.  She said through this experience she is realizing she doesn't want a kid, she wants to be a mother.  Wow, I'm not sure I've ever thought of it that way.  When I started to really think about her words I realized I actually feel the same way.  I never imagined I would have kids, but my mothering instinct is very strong.  Having children happened as a result of loss, but my instinct to mother something drives me.  Yes, the "animal hoarding" may be a result of my extreme mothering instincts.

The other thing she talked about is children having rules and options and being treated like an accessory.  I had rules as a child, but way too many options.  The other day my mom told me she thinks she might have given me too many options as a child, I agreed.  She also told me I do not give my children enough options.  I agreed.  I have raised two fairly independent children who are children.  I am a parent, not a friend.  The options are:  eat your breakfast or eat no breakfast.  Some days they get, "What would you like for breakfast?"  Other times they are expected to do what I say.  They are free to ask questions and I am happy to answer the why? what? where? who? I try very hard not to say "No!" all the time because no is no fun.  No one ever has fun when "NO!" is around, but it means I have to actually play or be involved with my children.  Parents who don't want to play with their kids use "No!" a bunch.  I have to admit, when my kids were younger I liked the word ,"No!"  Seriously, how many times can we go looking for lizards and frogs in the extreme heat??  or Can I have a Lemonade Stand in the 110 degree heat? NO!

Now let us talk about the child accessory.  If you are having kids because you like to play dress up, you want a friend, or because you want to show the world you can keep something alive other than a plant, I suggest you buy another plant.  I do NOT suggest you have a child.  Children are a huge responsibility and they are a financial investment.  Not every child will grow up to be the President of the United States of America, but they should be an active and positive influence on society.  Children are not a trendy new purse and they are not cool because all of your friends are having them....THEY ARE PRECIOUS LIVES WHO NEED DIRECTION, DISCIPLINE AND DEVOTION.

Do you have to be the perfect parent?  No.  Do you have to parent like I parent?  Not advised.  Parents are placed in charge of these children to be in charge and to be the PARENT.  Your child will have a thousand friends and only two parents(or more depending on your marriage situation----an entirely different blog entry).  NOW, if you just read my blog and realized you really don't want to be a parent and you already have kids, I suggest therapy for you and your child....Actually, I suggest you hit your knees and start praying for some guidance.  If you are reading my blog and you do not have kids but you feel your clock ticking, break the clock.  A CLOCK is not a good reason to have children.  Truthfully, not everyone should or is ready to be a parent.  Some people spend their whole lives trying to figure out who they are and I applaud them for not dragging a child in to that mess.

Parents, be parents.  

Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Read more: http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/bible-verses-about-children-25-inspirational-scripture-quotes/#ixzz24cCTzB6m


Your child is neither the hottest accessory nor are they heavy baggage.  

Psalm 127:3-5  Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

Read more: http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/bible-verses-about-children-25-inspirational-scripture-quotes/#ixzz24cCAuRlp

Ok, I'm off my soap box for the evening.