NAME IN LIGHTS

Yesterday I had a surprise phone call from a friend and former student of mine.  She was "beat up" at work and feeling quite down on herself.  The best part?  She called me.  I'm sure her mom has been the recipient of a thousand of these phone calls and now it was time to call the other mom; the one who loves her fat, skinny, in jail, on drugs, in recovery, or perfect in every way.  Side note, she has never been most of these.  Mostly only PERFECT IN EVERY WAY! 

We talked for over an hour and she dumped a bunch of stuff out and was genuinely saddened by all of the  crossed boundaries at work.  In her business it can be very difficult to be successful and yet she does it and does so very well.  She is young, beautiful, intelligent and talented.  She comes from a good family who is supportive and also very real.  I was blessed to have known their family well enough to be included in family gatherings on occasion and certainly to be invited to any wedding ceremonies.  When my friend is in town she calls or stops by for a visit.  Seeing her smiling face makes my heart smile and I love hearing about all of her adventures.

Sitting in my room, listening to her truly difficult situation, I was reminded that I often feel the same way.  I often feel like I just don't see where all of this is going.  Personally, the summer brings on this fear of failure that I shared earlier this month.  A fear of not doing all the things I need to do to make summer fun, safe, and above all, tolerable.  Sometimes I look at my life and wonder, "What the heck am I doing in the back woods, raising farm animals, teaching and being, well for lack of a better word, BORING??"  Yes, I consider my life, although filled with adventure, to be without purpose sometimes.  I want to see my name in lights or at least on the cover of a book.  Is that too much to ask?

Ok, now for the hammer!  If I truly believe that God is in charge of my life and I am willing to give it to Him, then I am EXACTLY where I am supposed to be, farm animals and all.  When I lose sight of the truth, I get anxious and fearful of my failures and shortcomings.  I try to conjure up a ten year plan to glamorous me, the problem with that is I really don't want to be glamorous me if God is not the center of my world.  Yesterday, I was feeling sorry for my self and having a pity party while on the drive to adventure day at Ikea with my husband, Chloe and her best friend.  A message popped up on my Facebook messenger.  The message read, "Hi Mimi!  Everything ok with you there?  You need me to pray for anything?  You have been on my mind a TON lately...I even had a dream last night that we were out to dinner with a bunch of people...."  I read the message and started to cry.  God heard me questioning his purpose for my life and didn't want me to be dismayed.  He sent my sweet friend who I hadn't really heard from since February to tell me how much He loves me.

Truthfully, I have a nearly perfect life and have no reason to be feeling stuck or lost, yet the enemy would like nothing better than to totally ruin my walk in the light of my Heavenly Father.  You see, although I am not perfect, I am forgiven and loved.  I am loved so very much that God used a friend to send me a sweet note not even having a clue what was going on in my life.  He loves my friend(student) so much that her phone call served as a reminder to her that above all else, she is loved and all things come from heaven.  Now, don't get full of yourself here and tell me about all the hard work and hours and hours you've invested in your success because hard work is only a portion of your success.  As quickly as you can build this worldly treasure, it can as quickly be depleted.  Work hard, be diligent, be obedient, love others, spread kindness and walk in light, but above all else, place it all in the hands of your Maker.  The things that you invest here on earth can be toward worldly success, but be careful not to forget that all of these things stay here when you die.

I guess the sooner I realize that this life is actually NOT all about me, the better off the rest of this life will be.  I wrote down June 8, 2013 as a turning point.  Yesterday is the beginning of a new season in my life; a season filled with laying it all at the altar.  Today at church, Pastor Chris preached on 

2 Corinthians 12:9 and this is what it says,

2 Corinthians 12:9 (biblegateway.com)

New International Version (NIV)

⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

When we got in the car my husband turned to me and said, "I guess today was for you, huh?"  I am forgiven and by His grace I am made good enough, strong enough, important enough, exciting enough, glamorous enough, ENOUGH EVERYTHING by HIS grace.  You may not have needed to hear any of this today, but I sure did.  I do want to leave you with one thought, this is NOT a crap shoot, read this scripture:

Philippians 4:6-7

New International Version (NIV)

⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

He wants to hear your needs and wants and the desires of your heart.  Place them at His feet and watch them grow.  I am so thankful for the obedience of one friend to remind me of His incredible love for me. (Day 158).   Oh wait, this is not supposed to be all about me!?!  Goodnight Friends.